Get a full subincision so that your urethra healing over doesn't pose a risk. Then spend literally months making gradual cuts at the base of your cock, waiting for it to heal enough to be manageable in between cutting sessions. Then, finally, spend an evening with a tube of xylocaine cream and finish the job.

Given the blood-stain that I just woke up on top of, I'm not 100% sure that I'm not going to end up going to the ER, but the bleeding seems manageable enough when I'm awake, and a scab is forming pretty fast, so I'm going to let things ride for a day or two before I make any rash decisions.