Be careful, folks.

About a week and a half ago I was demonstrating to a friend how easy it is to run a 14-gauge needle through a testicle, using my own as cannon fodder. Even though it's something I had done a bunch of times before, I presumably ended up hitting an artery this time around. As soon as I yoinked the needle out, I noticed a third lump forming in my scrotum, which seems to be a major blood clot.

I ended up Uber-ing my stupid ass to the local ER to get things checked out, and the urological nurse on duty conferred with his supervisor, informing me that it will eventually go away and that it won't cause any significant health risks, as the clot has no obvious path back into the circulatory system.

That said, my scrotum has been swollen ever since, and I've been getting the occasional painful twinge, so much so that it's difficult to even sleep. Hence I've booked an appointment with a urologist through my private health insurance plan, and we'll see how that turns out tomorrow morning. My hope is that they'll acknowledge the significant level of damage and approve surgical removal, but heaven knows Sweden's health-care system is about as averse to surgery in the same way that bald men aren't averse to hats, so we'll see.